SIZE AND TEARS
by: Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)
- HEN on the
sandy shore I sit,
- Beside the salt sea-wave,
- And fall into a weeping fit
- Because I dare not shave--
- A little whisper at my ear
- Inquires the reason of my fear.
-
- I answer, "If that ruffian Jones
- Should recognize me here,
- He'd bellow out my name in tones
- Offensive to the ear:
- He chaffs me so on being stout
- (A thing that always puts me out)."
-
- Ah me! I see him on the cliff!
- Farewell, farewell to hope,
- If he should look this way, and if
- He's got his telescope!
- To whatsoever place I flee,
- My odious rival follows me!
-
- For every night, and everywhere,
- I meet him out at dinner;
- And when I've found some charming fair,
- And vowed to die or win her,
- The wretch (he's thin and I am stout)
- Is sure to come and cut me out!
-
- The girls (just like them!) all agree
- To praise J. Jones, Esquire:
- I ask them what on earth they see
- About him to admire?
- They cry, "He is so sleek and slim,
- It's quite a treat to look at him!"
-
- They vanish in tobacco smoke,
- Those visionary maids--
- I feel a sharp and sudden poke
- Between the shoulder-blades--
- "Why, Brown, my boy! You're growing stout!"
- (I told you he would find me out!)
-
- "My growth is not your business, sir!"
- "No more it is, my boy!
- But if it's yours, as I infer,
- Why, Brown, I give you joy!
- A man whose business prospers so
- Is just the sort of man to know!
-
- "It's hardly safe, though, talking here--
- I'd best get out of reach:
- For such a weight as yours, I fear,
- Must shortly sink the beach!"--
- Insult me thus because I'm stout!
- I vow I'll go and call him out!
"Size and Tears" is reprinted
from The Hunting of the Snark and Other Poems and Verses.
Lewis Carroll. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1903. |
MORE
POEMS BY LEWIS CARROLL |
|