BY THE WINDOW

by: Edward Dowden (1843-1913)

TILL deep into the West I gazed; the light

Clear, spiritual, tranquil as a bird

Wide-winged that soars on the smooth gale and sleeps,

Was it from sun far-set or moon unrisen?

Whether from moon, or sun, or angel’s face

It held my heart from motion, stayed my blood,

Betrayed each rising thought to quiet death

Along the blind charm’d way to nothingness,

Lull’d the last nerve that ached. It was a sky

Made for a man to waste his will upon,

To be received as wiser than all toil,

And much more fair. And what was strife of men?

And what was time?

 

Then came a certain thing.

Are intimations for the elected soul

Dubious, obscure, of unauthentic power

Since ghostly to the intellectual eye,

Shapeless to thinking? Nay, but are not we

Servile to words and an usurping brain,

Infidels of our own high mysteries,

Until the senses thicken and lose the world,

Until the imprisoned soul forgets to see,

And spreads blind fingers forth to reach the day,

Which once drank light, and fed on angels’ food?

 

It happened swiftly, came and straight was gone.

 

One standing on some aery balcony

And looking down upon a swarming crowd

Sees one man beckon to him with finger-tip

While eyes meet eyes; he turns and looks again--

The man is lost, and the crowd sways and swarms.

Shall such an one say, ‘Thus ’tis proved a dream,

And no hand beckoned, no eyes met my own?’

Neither can I say this. There was a hint,

A thrill, a summons faint yet absolute,

Which ran across the West; the sky was touch’d,

And failed not to respond. Does a hand pass

Lightly across your hair? you feel it pass

Not half so heavy as a cobweb’s weight,

Although you never stir; so felt the sky

Not unaware of the Presence, so my soul

Scarce less aware. And if I cannot say

The meaning and monition, words are weak

Which will not paint the small wing of a moth,

Nor bear a subtile odour to the brain,

And much less serve the soul in her large needs.

I cannot tell the meaning, but a change

Was wrought in me; it was not the one man

Who came to the luminous window to gaze forth,

And who moved back into the darkened room

With awe upon his heart and tender hope;

From some deep well of life tears rose; the throng

Of dusty cares, hopes, pleasures, prides fell off,

And from a sacred solitude I gazed

Deep, deep into the liquid eyes of Life.

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