THE AHKOND OF SWAT
by: Edward Lear (1812-1888)
- HO, or why,
or which, or what,
- Is the Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
- Does he sit on a stool or sofa or chair,
- Or squat,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
- Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,
- Or Hot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
- And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,
- Or Trot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he wear a turban, a fez or a hat?
- Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed or a mat,
- Or a Cot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
- Does he cross his t's and finish his i's
- With a Dot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Can he write a letter concisely clear,
- Without a speck or a smudge or smear
- Or Blot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Do his people like him extremely well?
- Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,
- Or Plot,
- At the Ahkond of Swat?
-
- If he catches them then, either old or young,
- Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,
- Or Shot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
- Or even at times, when days are dark,
- Garotte?
- Oh, the Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
- Or doesn't he care for public opinion,
- A Jot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- To amuse his mind do his people show him
- Pictures, or any one's last new poem,
- Or What,
- For the Ahkond of Swat?
-
- At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
- Do they bring him only a few small cakes,
- Or a Lot,
- For the Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he live on turnips, tea or tripe,
- Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,
- Or a Dot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
- Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,
- Shalott,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
- Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,
- Or a Scot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
- Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,
- Or a Grott,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
- Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?
- Or a Pot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
- When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,
- Or Rot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he wear a white tie when he dines with his friends,
- And tie it neat in a bow with ends,
- Or a Knot,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
- When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,
- Or Not,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
- Does he sail about on an inland lake,
- In a Yacht,
- The Ahkond of Swat?
-
- Some one, or nobody knows I wot
- Who or which or why or what
- Is the Ahkond of Swat!
"The Ahkond of Swat" is
reprinted from A Nonsense Anthology. Ed. Carolyn Wells.
New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1915. |
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POEMS BY EDWARD LEAR |
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